I awoke from a dream this morning where I was trying to find a place to see clients, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be accepted by the people who lived around the place that I was considering. Later this morning, I started wondering if the website that I am building to promote my book will be accepted – do I have to have an adult portal?
This is such a familiar theme. Even before I started doing sex work, when I taught Tantra workshops to groups, I was always aware that the owners of places that I rented for the workshops might disapprove. Indeed, we did get kicked out of one place when the owner walked in unexpectedly during a Tantric ritual! Everyone was scantily clad, and the women were dancing for the men at that moment. It didn’t go over well, and soon we had to leave.
Today I’m feeling the burden of being a marginalized member of this society. It’s part of the price of working on the edge, trying to create a change in the attitudes that people have about sexuality. Most of the time I can just let it go, but right now I feel tired of having the additional layer of considerations that most people don’t have.
It shows up in the most simple of situations. What’s the first thing that people ask you at a party? “What do you do?” For most people, it’s an easy answer. But for a sex worker, there is a moment of rapid calculation, deciding just how much to reveal to this person, wondering if they will recoil in horror.
I would like to create a world where, if I answered, “I am a sacred prostitute.” I would be honored for the good work that I do. Where people would understand and respect the deep value of sexual healing and sexual ecstasy.
Please take a moment to visualize this. The more we imagine it, the more it is real.
So be it!