Is "Sacred Prostitute" an oxymoron?

The split between the sacred and the sexual started when the patriarchy took over, and women needed to be controlled so that inheritance could go through men. Read "When God Was a Woman" by Merlin Stone if you'd like to know more. Before that, there were priestesses who used sexuality as part of their rites, but that practice had to be condemned if women were to begin to accept being owned and controlled by men. The most effective way to do that was through religion -- if you f**k someone else, then you're a whore and you'll go to hell! (The original meaning of "whore" was "healer".) So the motivation for making non-monogamous sex (for women, especially) immoral was originally financial, not moral.

When I was working, I used sexual energy as a tool for healing and for expansion of the spirit. It is a powerful force and when used with knowledge and skill, it can be a potent agent of healing, and for having a direct experience of enlightenment. Di you ever wonder why so many people say "Oh, god! Oh, god!" so much when they're coming?

I'm working towards a time when the sacred use of sexuality is reclaimed. It has been forgotten, but it is returning.

If you want to know more about how a prostitute can be sacred, then read my book!

A Gathering of Sacred Intimates

Yesterday I went to a meeting of sacred intimates. It was a great group of people. It had been a long time since I had gathered with sex workers. I was reminded once more just how creative, passionate and lively they are.

These women and men have sex work as their avocation. They are dedicated to healing and approach their clients with love – just as I used to do. I am delighted to see this attitude, and I want to help spread it far and wide. That’s why I wrote my book.

Men Like to Give

One of the great things I learned in my time of doing sensual massage was how much men love to give. Even when the setup was that I was the one giving and they were receiving, they often gave to me anyway.

I remember one session with Jack. I had been seeing him about three years at that point. We often did fantasy sessions, where we each took on a character and played out some fantasy. I didn’t do this with anyone else, but his fantasies were similar to what mine were, so I enjoyed doing this with him.

One morning, we had an appointment and I knew that he would want to do something exciting. I was deep into menopause at the time, burned out on sex work, and overworked. As I thought about what we might do, I realized that I just didn’t have any juice in me to give to him.

When he arrived, I told him, “I am the priestess, and I give to many. Today the priestess is in need. I’d like your service. I’d like a deep massage, and then I’d like you to pleasure me.”

He agreed with delight. As we stood up to go to the massage table, he hugged me. I began to cry, and he said “Lean on me. Lean on me.”

After the tears were done, he proceeded to give me a great massage and then he did indeed pleasure me. After he brought me to orgasm, I asked what he would like. He told me, “Nothing. I’ve received so much already.”

Then he paid me my usual session fee, and left with a hug.

Manifesting a Consort

It’s so amazing how when you are really clear about what you want, and state it, it shows up! The Law of Attraction really works. Soon after I wrote the recent post, Aphrodite’s Consort, I got an email from a former client.

He is a wonderful man. We used to have great sessions running energy together. He always treated me with respect and honor, and his energy fed me deeply. I always felt rejuvenated by our time together.

This is what his email said: “Something inside of me is telling me to learn how to how to assist you in channeling your energy. Not in a "taking" manner as a student takes knowledge from a teacher, but in a completely unselfish giving way that allows you to accomplish what you need.”

Yeah, baby! This is exactly what I need.

I am continually in awe at how I am provided for.

Venus and Pluto

Right now Venus, the planet of love, is conjunct Pluto, the planet of transformation. This means that there is an opportunity for transformation in love relationships. But it might not be easy.

Pluto is an ass-kicker. I read somewhere recently (sorry, can’t remember where) that Pluto only offers two choices: Change or be changed. Change will happen, it’s only a matter of how gracefully we accept it.

So if your romantic relationships are being a bit challenging right now, see if you can find how transformation can happen. Rather than doing the same old patterns, try something different. Reflect upon how the situation is bring you a chance to transform yourself in some way. Perhaps even find some gratitude for it.

Aphrodite's Consort

It’s looking like my relationship with Adam is not going to work out after all. While I’m very grateful for the sexual healing he brought me, it has become clear that we want different things. He wants a full-time relationship, and what I really want is a consort.

“What’s a consort?” you might ask. Most people do when I talk about this. A consort is someone with whom I can have mystical, magical, healing sex. Sex that creates more light upon this planet that is so in need. Sex that brings us both closer to God. Transpersonal sex – done in the context of ritual and in sacred space.

You don’t discuss the laundry with a consort. You don’t watch TV together. You don’t live together and blend your mundane lives. I’m quite happy living on my own. I like my independence. I just would like a consort to come visit from time to time, and leave me in a limp puddle with a smile on my face. A smile that is directed towards him, and also towards God. Is that too much to ask?

Aphrodite doesn’t think so.

Aphrodite

Jean Shinoda Bolen wrote a wonderful book called Goddesses in Everywoman. In it, she describes several goddess archetypes and the energies that they carry. We each embody some of these more than others. I related to Aphrodite the most.

Aphrodite is unique among goddesses. She is not virginal, like Athena or Artemis, yet she is not defined by her relationships like Hera or Demeter. She is sexual, independent, sensual and free.

Aphrodite loves intensity, and so do I. In my book, I describe the end of my second marriage. It basically died from boredom; I needed more excitement.

Even though Aphrodite takes lovers when she wants to, she is not promiscuous. She is very choosy about who she connects with. That describes me as well, especially lately. I did have quite a promiscuous time when I was younger! I’ve never had a relationship that was completely monogamous, although I have had phases where I chose to connect only with one person for a time.

Bolen made the point that it is hard to be an Aphrodite in this culture, where women’s sexuality is supposed to be owned by men. I’ve gotten used to disapproval, and luckily they don’t stone women for adultery in this particular time and place!