Pluto On My Mars

I’m getting to find out by experience what it’s like to have a Pluto transit. Yikes! Pluto, the planet of transformation, is conjunct my Mars, which is about anger, aggression, and also about the men in my life. These two powerhouses are opposite my Sun, which is the deepest essence of my personality. Did I say yikes!?

Pluto acts by bringing up the shadow, the parts of ourselves that we haven’t looked at yet. What I’ve noticed is that it is bringing up all the ways that I don’t love men. I’m making it very personal, too, projecting it onto Adam. I’m hyper-sensitive to the least little hint of him trying to control me. He has the lucky position of being the catalyst for all that is still unhealed in my relationship to men – giving myself away in order to please, according to my training.

I know that it has very little to do with him. I know that it will pass, and I will be more healed and more whole when it is done. I’ve spent a lot of the week in tears, despairing of ever being able to love anyone. It shifted last night. My heart softened and opened, and I got more perspective. I’m grateful for the respite. I’m also grateful for Adam’s equanimity in all this. He has been very loving through it. I am fortunate to be connected with him at this time.

Venus and Mars Across the Ocean

I reconnected with Adam in the last few weeks, as well as beginning a connection with Ted. Aphrodite has been busy!

Adam is now in Thailand for the next few weeks. Just before he left, we had a deep and loving evening together. During that time, I received a vision about what our connection is about right now, on a transpersonal level.

First, some astrological background. His Venus is conjunct my Mars, and Pluto in the sky is transiting both of them. What this means is that he is carrying the feminine energy (Venus) and I am carrying the male energy (Mars). The conjunction creates a lot of attraction between us. It’s new for him to be in the feminine, and it’s new for me to be in the masculine. Pluto, the planet of transformation, is asking us to transform our old ways and open up to something new.

In this vision, I realized that our connection was about healing the rift between the masculine and the feminine. He was about to go off to a very feminine place – Thailand is soft and yielding. I am here on the west coast of the US, across the Pacific from him, holding the energy in a culture that is extremely masculine. As we maintain the connection between us, we reconnect the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine.

Venus Caught in the Middle

There is an important astrological transit happening next week on November 4. Uranus, which loves freedom, is opposing Saturn, which wants commitment. Both are squaring Venus, the planet of romance and love, catching her in the middle. (Paraphrased from the current issue of The Mountain Astrologer daily forecasts.)

This is showing up in my relationship with Adam big time. I’m being the freedom-loving Uranus, and he’s playing Saturn, wanting more of an ongoing relationship than I do. And, yes, Venus is getting caught in the middle. We are in a disconnect. We haven’t spoken in a week, and last time we saw each other I was prickly and irritable. There are lots more transits going on than the Uranus-Saturn opposition, including Pluto on my Mars, which is bringing up anger that I have never expressed my whole life. Poor guy!

I feel that I’m caught in the wheels of fate. Time is speeding up, things are more intense. Personal relationships are being strained as we try to cope with all that is going on. Sometimes I don’t even want a personal relationship at all – they’re too much trouble.